i am a helpless, romantic person. i am living on a belief that someday, somewhere, im going to meet the girl of my dreams. a girl similar to the one you could find on romantic comic books... a girl plucked straight from the Korean melodramas. together, we would have a story similar to the ones you often read on fairy tales. and later on, we would live happily ever after.

two things i reflected about myself regarding such thought:

number one: i am too idealistic trying to live on a world of dreams.
number two: i am too much a softie.

the past few months have introduced me to the harsh reality of this world - hopes and dreams very seldom come true most especially if it is to involve other people. the only planet on the entire universe that could support life offers no guarantee that it wont get you disappointed. the only thing that you could definitely predict when you are making plans are those that involve yourself and no more else. one of the most important lesson i think the past few months have taught me was that - you could never expect people to change for you nor can you change them so as to fit into your dreams.

i have met an angel whom i thought would satisfy my first paragraph.
but this angel has flown away from me
leaving me so down in misery...
i know that i should have clipped her wings and made her mine
for all eternity...
but now this angel has flown away from me
good thing i had the strength and courage to set her free
i did what i did because i love her soo much
but will she ever find her way back home to me?


it is time who brought this angel to me. there is nothing else but time who could answer my question.

i find it amusing on how  would people come into our lives,  make us feel happy by their presence, and all of the sudden, make us sad because they need to go. yes, the act of letting go is an art that is learned but still, its an action that is very hard to practice. i try to divide my life into chapters. much more like on a complex novel, characters come and go every chapter. a certain character would appear on a particular chapter and then would be simply gone for the rest of the book. but there is only one thing i am sure for that gone character... that characters appears on our own book of life because of they are necessary for the development of  our very own character - the main story of the book.

then there are people who come into our lives, completely affect it and make the plot of the story revolve 180 degrees clockwise. good thing if they nourish your character on the book.

BUT WHAT IF THEY DONT?

i think im feeling what God have been feeling ever since the modern civilization began: the feeling of being neglected because people that He cares for and love so much are so damn busy with their own lives. i dont know. i guess the over-used saying that you never know what you are having until you lose it is true. i just hope that it would never be too late for certain character/s on my book to realize how much they are neglecting 'someone'. my next thoughts are so indescribable that i could not put them into words.